Friday, September 12, 2008

Soap and Sap

"Mahal mo ba ako?"

"Di ko alam."

"I guess you'll never know."


I cringe.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The One and First

Crabcake is the first person to ever ask me about getting married. Aside from this being very flattering, it just feels great to be asked and considered for marriage. What makes this extra-special is the fact that it happened when we haven't been together long enough. And yet Crabcake thought of marrying me. Ain't our love grand?

I'm thinking, maybe, the whole idea of marriage just felt right at that time. The gravity of love doesn't depend on the length of time of togetherness. The intensity is rooted on the genuineness of feelings, of the love for each other.

Crabcake and I felt real love for each other after days of talking and getting to know each other. We were in love. We knew it.

One just knows. One doesn't have to spend an eternity to validate his feelings for a person.

I felt Crabcake was THE ONE for me. Crabcake knew I was THE ONE for him too. We were for keeps. We wanted to get married...and grow old together.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Anthem of Love

I wanna make you smile
Whenever you're sad.
Carry you around
When your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you.

I'll get your medicine
When your tummy aches.
Build you a fire
If the furnace breaks.
So it could be so nice,
Growing old with you.

I'll miss you,
Kiss you.
Give you my coat
When you are cold.
Need you,
Feed you,
Even let you hold
The remote control.

So let me do the dishes
In our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed
When you've had too much
To drink.
Oh I could be the man
Who grows old with you.

I wanna grow old with you.

Always and forever, Crabcake.

Monday, September 8, 2008

May 14, 2006

INT. Bedroom. Half past eleven in the evening.

My cell phone rings.

I pick up and say, "Hello."

I hear, "I love you."

The caller hangs up.

I would have wanted to say, "I love you too." But all there was were those three words. Nothing else.

Outside, darkness hovered the night sky.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Sappy but True

If ever you
if you
my soul,
you do.

Since I met you
I'm not the same.
You bring life
to everything
I do.
Just the way
you say
with one
I can't
let go.

I'd fall
in love

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

There's something about the -ber months that excites me.

I'm dying in anticipation.

The Affliction

"Even when they're healthy, they're sick with lust."

- Federico Licsi Espino Jr., afflicted poet

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


I received this SMS: "Sometimes I wish that I have never seen you and have never met you. This is not because I don't like you, neither because I hate you. It's just that I've felt fear that one day, I may lose you."

My reply: "How can you lose something you've never had?"

The reply: "What do you mean? Am I just a trick to you? I thought you were for real. I did love you."

That just does it for me. I never liked drama queens.

I replied: "I cannot love you."

"Why can't you love me?"

"I just can't."

"You're a jerk."

"Oh yea. I thought I had established that at hello."

"Go to hell."

"I will."

"You scumbag. I knew you were trouble for me."

"I am. Bye."

I remembered putting off the phone. What's the point?

Must I reveal myself as Dencio Padilla? Will that make me be understood?

I never dig hysteria. This was too much.

The world revives.